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Old 08-26-2010, 05:41 PM   #1
jjsdms
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Location: Tupelo, MS
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Unhappy Really trying to hear God...is He hearing me?

My DH and I have been battling infertilty for almost 3 years now. We have been praying and begging God for a child. I pray and cry daily, asking God for direction. Sometimes I really feel so lost and at times, feel He's not listening. But I know better, I know He hears my cries and desires. It's just hard. Especially today when I found out my cousin, who has 4 children by 3 different woman, got another girl pregnant. So, he'll be a father to 5, he's 23 years old and living in a tent in the woods. He's never held a job and he's on drugs. I ask myself and God...HOW IS THIS FAIR!?!

I guess I'm just really looking for some encouragement. I'm just sad and angry.
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Jessica: 31 DH: 34

Metformin 2000 mg
Synthroid 120kg

TTC since 08'

4/10 Started Clomid 50mg- Praying for ovulation!!!
5/10 B/W showed low Progesterone level, did not O during first month of Clomid
5/10 Starting Provera and Clomid 100mg
6/10 100mg Clomid--YAY! I O'd! BFN
7/10 150mg Clomid--YAY! I O'd! BFN
8/10 150mg Clomid--I O'd. AF showed.
9/10 150 Clomid--praying so much for our first miracle
baby!
3/1/2011 BFP! Prayers have been answered!!
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Old 08-30-2010, 05:19 PM   #2
Alwilki
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I'm sorry you feel like that. It can be very hard to deal with people around you getting pregnant who dont want children or shouldn't have children and yet cant seem to stop having them while you struggle to have just one! I'm sorry.

God does hear your prayers but unfortunately we cant all get the answers we want when we want them. In church yesterday, Someone made a comment that if God said yes to every prayer that was ever given, there would be no reason to have faith and no reason for anyone to want to trust in the Lord. He knows the bigger picture and sometimes it is hard to accept that he knows what is best for us. I've wondered myself why I am so "lucky" to have this burden but I have realized that when i do have children, I will appreciate them so much more than those women who have no problem bearing children.

I do know that he loves you and it hurts him that this is causing so much pain in your life. He knows when and how you will have children and there may be a wonderfully logical reason why he doesn't give you children now, but you wont be able to see that until it happens, or you may not know the reason until our next life in heaven. Instead of being mad at him, just lean on him for support. he WILL comfort you if you let him. I will pray for you to have his comfort with you as well.
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Old 08-31-2010, 05:47 PM   #3
jjsdms
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Thanks for your encouraging reply! I was having a such a down day, it seems I was really letting the enemy in and filling my head with negative thoughts. I know better than to do that.
You made a great point, if God answered every prayer right away, where would our faith be? I need to lean more on Him and give everything over to Him.

Like you said, when God does give us our babies, we will 100% appreciate and enjoy every moment...even the labor pains!

Thanks again for your hopeful words. I said a special prayer for you today!
__________________
Jessica: 31 DH: 34

Metformin 2000 mg
Synthroid 120kg

TTC since 08'

4/10 Started Clomid 50mg- Praying for ovulation!!!
5/10 B/W showed low Progesterone level, did not O during first month of Clomid
5/10 Starting Provera and Clomid 100mg
6/10 100mg Clomid--YAY! I O'd! BFN
7/10 150mg Clomid--YAY! I O'd! BFN
8/10 150mg Clomid--I O'd. AF showed.
9/10 150 Clomid--praying so much for our first miracle
baby!
3/1/2011 BFP! Prayers have been answered!!
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Old 09-18-2010, 01:50 AM   #4
lovinglife0376
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Hi! I am sorry you were having such a tough day. I know how painful infertility can be. So lonely and depressing. We tried for 3 years too to have a child. I also prayed and cried.. and then prayed and cried some more. I was so angry with God. I couldn't understand why (like you) some people could get pregnant so easy.. while I was trying so hard. I hit a breaking point when a friend of mine (she had 3 previous abortions) got pregnant. Then she found out she was not only having one, but two. I was so mad. Jealous. Hurt. Afraid that my time would never come.. I could go on and on.. and then.. don't you know, her babies were born on my birthday. I had a cycle in February of Follistim and tested right before my birthday (I know a little soon).. it was negative.. and then found out about her having babies on my birthday.. so mad!! needless did I know.. I was actually pregnant.

Shortly into my pregnancy (with twins!), my Maternal Fetalist Specialist (MFS) don't me that my babies would either be born so early they would die, or be born so early they would be mentally retarded (due to an incompetent cervix). We were heartbroken. I swear I had a bottomless pit of tears. I sobbed my heart out. My husband researched and researched.. he found that a cerclage could help us.. but three opinions on the matter and all doctors agreed it would not help me. My husband was going to have to deploy so I went home to Ohio where I had a great team of doctors. To make a very, very long story short.... I gave birth one day shy of 36 weeks to two very healthy baby boys.

Throughout my whole ordeal, we constantly prayed. Our families prayed. Our churchs prayed. Our friends prayed... and eventually, we were granted our prayers just like the woman above me stated, not on my time, but on his time.

I know that is one thing I hated to hear.. you will get pregnant when the time is right. I hated that.

I am sorry you have to go through this. I just wanted to share this with you and tell you that God does answer prayers. I wish you much luck on this very difficult journey.
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Old 09-30-2010, 04:59 AM   #5
contyler
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God will bless the barren, women who are struggling to bear children. Maybe it's not the time for you to conceive one. The right time will come.
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Old 10-06-2010, 12:24 PM   #6
merrellnancy
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Smile introduction

Hi my name is Nancy, and after 5 years of symptoms with no answers, the Lord lead to me to a wonderful Doc who diagnosed me with PCOS. I am new to this site and am reading up on all the posts, I just wanted to introduce myself. I am starting BC today and then in about 6 mo. we will stop and try clomid to concieve. Anyhoo- hello ladies, I can am anxious to hear what you all have to say.
God Bless- Nancy
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Old 10-08-2010, 05:24 PM   #7
Rosa
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Hello My Name Is Rosa And I Know How U Feel The Same Happens To Me I Have Beeen Trying To Get Prego For 3yrs And Its Really Sad To See How Other Ladies Get To Have Babies And They Dont Even Know How To Take Care Of Them Im Just A Person That Loves Babies And I Pray To God Every Day To Please Give Me The Miracle To Be A Mommy...when We Have A Family Reunion Fam And Friends Always Asked Use That When R We Gonna Have Babies But They Dont Know That I Cant Get Preagnet I Just Tell Them That Im Still Not Ready For Babies I Dont Want To Tell Them The Truth That I Have Pcos Cause I Think That There Gonna Laugh Or Something Like That...i Have Never Told Nobody How I Feel Cause They Dont Understand But Im Glad That I Found This Site Where I Can Tell Yah How I Feel
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Old 10-13-2010, 01:58 PM   #8
MrsGart
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Oh, I remember those tears. I remember the unfairness I don't know why you are not pregnant. I DO know that God sees every tear and hears every prayer. He has counted the hairs on your head. He is firmly in control.

Someon encourages me with this, and so I will pass it along to you. Maybe your "job" is to mother some one else's child. Not necessarily through adoption but as an adopted Aunt. So many children just really need one loving adult to really care about them.

I found, when I took on that task, the time passed more quickly. I never did have a baby, but that's God's plan for me. I will pray that he has a different plan for you, and that you will find a child (in the interim) who needs some love and attention.
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Old 10-30-2010, 01:03 AM   #9
smidjy
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Genesis 16:13

"She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her "You are the God who sees me," for she said, "I have now seen the one who sees me."
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Old 11-01-2010, 02:35 PM   #10
r6bikerchick
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I'm just so relieved to see so many women with the same feelings, thoughts and questions as I have. I'm also quite heartened to see the number of pregnancies/children on this site! The other infertility site I belong to is moreso geared to those who have had to accept a life of childlessness.

"For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future"

HOPE = Having Open & Positive Expectations!
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