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Old 08-14-2009, 12:44 PM   #1
Green Eyes
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Join Date: Aug 2009
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Default Girlfriend was just diagnosed

My girlfriend was just diagnosed not too long ago. She was diagnosed and she researched it somewhat and it got her down. She is afraid that she will lose all of her hair. She is always very critical of herself and she will never listen to me whenever I tell her things. I told her about this site and she learned a lot. I have been trying to be as supportive as possible. I work ten hours a day on second shift and school just started so I really can't console her whenever she needs me. This makes me feel bad but I have to make money. I was wondering if anyone had any good tips for me?
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Old 08-14-2009, 03:51 PM   #2
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Location: Gentryville, IN
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Default I have PCOS

The worst thing for me was feeling alone because no one understood.

Encourage her to take advantage of sites like this.

Everyone reacts differently to PCOS and has different symptoms.

She will probably be emotional for a while...don't get upset with her. Let her vent when she needs to.

Since you can't be there, ...maybe leave her notes around the house or wherever she'll find them...then she'll have a pick me up during the day.
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Old 08-15-2009, 04:57 PM   #3
Green Eyes
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Thank you so much. That is a great idea. I will definetly have to try that one.
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Old 08-20-2009, 05:55 AM   #4
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I want to tell you how wonderful I think it is that you posted this - it shows how much you truly care. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 5 1/2 years, and he works two jobs; I work full time. We dont see each other as much as we like even though we live together and ill tell you, the little things are the things that really count!! Send her a text message just to tell her your thinking of her, even calls to say i love you are great. but like blondie said, the little notes definetly mean alot. since i get home late and sometimes hes asleep before me, ill leave a post it on his wallet saying "have a great day at work, i love you" and he'll do the same for me, hes even left them in my car which was really nice. Im still emotional and my moods are up and down bc of my frustration and hes been really good about understanding and knowing when to back down and when i need him. You said shes critical of herself. Ill tell you what, when I have my hair messed up and no makeup on and he tells me how beautiful i am, it instantly makes me feel better and it makes me feel loved. (even though i dont feel the way he does about my looks ) if you have a job where you can email, send her an email if you dont text. leave a comment on her MS or FB. the big thing to me is to call - when he calls me and i havent seen him all day, just the sound of his voice makes me feel better. if shes upset, just reassure her that your there for her, and you will do anything you can to help her through this. reading books and going online and researching will give you more info and will give you more of an idea of how to help her and understand what shes going through. also, i cant tell you how much this site has helped me. i just recently found out another friend whos also ttc has PCOS as well - I gave her the website right away. good luck with everything!
Us: Jess (30)
Furbabies: 1 Cat, 1 Dog
Dx: 4/17/09 (officially but had problems for years)
HSG 3/08: Open Tubes
Rx for PCOS: Metformin 2000mg, Prenatal Vitmain, Fish Oil, Folic Acid
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Old 08-29-2009, 09:15 PM   #5
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Location: New Brunswick, Canada
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Green Eyes,

I think the biggest thing you can do is just be there for her, and let her know constantly that you love her, and think that she's pretty, and sexy, and womanly! You can't "fix" her or how she feels, and you can't force her to think/feel differently. All you can do is love her enough for both of you. Just be her rock.

Hang in there, and if you have any questions, just ask!
Registered Massage Therapist
2200-hour program in Canada
Focus on women's health and managing chronic health issues

DS (1992)
Diagnosed PCOS 1994
Cannot tolerate BCP
No treatment for 12 years
Now, Metformin 1,500 mg/day, Fish Oil, D3, good multi
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Old 09-17-2009, 09:11 PM   #6
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I just need ways of getting my girls hopes up. I mean I'm researching and trying to learn as much as possible, but it just makes her upset.
Is there any other way of going about it?
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Old 09-27-2009, 07:46 PM   #7
Annie K
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: CA
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I think both of your intents are great. As a woman, I think being told that we have support is great, but we also don't want the disorder to become the defining thing in our relationships.

My boyfriend pretty much stays out of my way, as I am the researcher in the relationship, but I think the things he does that seemingly have nothing to do with my PCOS help the most -he tells me I'm sexy, he takes good care of me, especially when I'm tired or emotional, he's on the same diet as I am.

The other thing is, you don't have to make it feel like a diet. I'm not sure if you cook, but now is a great time to learn. A site like 101cookbooks.com is all about healthy eating - whole grains, vegetarian meals, and pretty much all the advice you need to start a healthy pantry. Filling her plate with Millet and Quinoa and sweetening a spelt pie crust with agave will not only be healthy, but will give both of you the opportunity to try a whole new bunch of delicious food. It may seem weird at first, but it only takes 2 weeks to change your taste buds, and the same thing goes for exercise.

Going on walks together, even if they're just to the store or the park, are great. Don't make it about her losing weight, make it about both of you being healthy and happy. And that changing your diet, not going on one, and keeping active are just essential parts of that.

Plus, exercise often gives people more energy and makes them happier, so that can't hurt. Just remember, start slow, and make this about both of you being healthy, not just about her PCOS.
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