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Old 07-12-2010, 03:42 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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Default I need help with supporting


Me and my girlfriend have now been together for soon a year now. We fell in love straight away, and we both thought we have really found our life partner. We have discussed marriage, and I'd love to marry her.
We've also discussed kids, and she'd love to have kids. Having a baby would probably be the most important thing that happened to her.

Which makes this being awful, she does have PCOS, and she told me about it like 6months ago (she's 21). And it didn't matter to me at all, I love her no matter what. And I've said that alot to her.

Lately though, she has seemed very depressed, and get's mad over nothing. Basically anything I do can be annoying and piss her off. Which makes me sad. She havn't been on any medication before (as far as I know) other than birth control pills. And she also said to me a while ago she's going to start taking them again.

To my question, I need help what am I suppose to do as a boyfriend?
I love her more than my own life and anything in this world. And it kills me seeing her like this. Her ignoring me and being so mad at me for nothing makes me think she stopped loving me and just want me to get out from her life or something. But maybe she just takes me for granted and feels it doesn't matter what she say to me? I have told her on several occasions I want to spend the rest of my life with her and no one else.

I tell her I love her alot, I talk to her alot, I ask her if she's ok, I buy her things etc. And hug her as much as I can. I just don't know what to do to make her happy. She's not crying, well atleast I havn't seen her cry, I've just seen her being moody grumpy and mad. I'm just assuming it's the PCOS after alot of googling and also reading here. Otherwise she's crazy :P

I want to be as good as a boyfriend I can, but How? What do you/did you want to hear your boyfriend/man say/do to you when you had your mood swings?

Thanks for any help I can get, currently this is driving me crazy. And can't picture what my girlfriend must go through then if I think that.
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Old 09-21-2010, 03:10 AM   #2
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Iowa
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hi, im 21 and my bf feels the same way about me.. I get moody almost 90% of the time! LOL..

well anyways, pcos plays a huge part on a womans hormones! some birth control pills could either help or make them worse. Just remain calm and supportive if you really want things to work out. I would go with her to her dr. appts if she wants you to, and talk about the side effects and moodiness.. im a girl who feels what shes going through but honestly sometimes i get so angry and upset and i dont even have a reason to feel that way.. its crazy!

Im not a doctor but if she gets to feeling like that edginess for absolutely no reason at all, i would ask her if she wants to talk to a doctor...
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Old 10-07-2010, 12:12 PM   #3
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 93

Hi Qwerty,

That is great that you are so supportive! I would suggest this... I found Vitamin D helped so much with my mood swings and PMS issues and I check the calendar a lot when I feel a certain way (angry, sad, over-emotional..) because I know there is a change in hormones during certain times. Also does she exercise or do physical activity? Walking has helped me so much... the endorphins are amazing. Plus I cut sugar and processed foods out of my diet. I was able to lose over 50lbs, get my period back regularly and my moods are much better (more able to predict and understand as they are pretty much on a schedule). I know when to really be aware of them.

I even gave my boyfriend my "time-table" (and I don't just mean when my period is, as ovulation and the release of progesterone before or after a woman's period can make her a bit crazy haha). He was able to understand the way I acted better and be a little more "gentle" with me during these times

I may get some flack back from the ladies about this, but it should not all be on you either. It sucks to walk on eggshells in a relationship. She really needs to "be on top" of her moods and hormone changes. True it's not our fault our bodies are so nuts but we really (IMO) need to be in tune with what is going on. Not just for loved ones sakes but for our own. Once I figured out my time table, I was able to think I was not just "losing it" or take it out on someone else

I hope this helps!
"I can do all things,through Christ, who strengthens me" Phillipians 4:13

Last edited by Lee; 10-07-2010 at 12:16 PM.
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Old 10-08-2010, 10:39 AM   #4
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Location: Blacksburg, VA (Go Hokies!)
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I have to say, I really agree with the last thing that Lee was saying. Women should really be on top of that, it's pretty important I think, since the way we act is kind of who we are to everyone else in the world. Though, your girlfriend could be like me, and just hasn't been able to set that timetable yet, or she hasn't realized that she needs to figure it out. (I don't mean that you should tell her to get on top of it, that could be bad bad bad.)

My boyfriend is one to tell me that I'm moody, and that I need to stop. That's not the best thing to do either. It's actually pretty irritating, like any of us want to hear that we're not being nice. We've been together for abour 3.5 years now, he still hasn't learned. It's great that you've recognized that your girlfriend is dealing with this stuff and you're trying to be supportive.

I would take the advice about maybe recommending to have her talk to her doctor, or going with her, and just bringing it up in the appointment. I think that would be one of the best things you can do.

You know, if you've noticed a pattern in her behavior, you could probably make your own table It might help you get a handle on when to expect it.

Good luck, and don't give up. There's hope!!
~When life rains on your parade, BRING OUT THE SLIP 'N SLIDE!~

Diagnosed PCOS May 2009
Diagnosed Hypothyroid 2006ish
2250mg Metformin
50mcg Levothyroxine
1200mg Fish Oil x2
Centrum Ultra for Women
Super Vitamin B Complex
Misc. meds for depression/anxiety/ADD/Insomnia
Not TTC, Following a balanced diet (Proper calories, fat, protein, fiber, Calcium)
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Old 01-22-2011, 01:19 AM   #5
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Indiana
Posts: 83

PCOS really does play a huge role in emotions and stress. For example, I'm a functioning agoraphobic. (Those of you who may not know, that means I'm afraid of people, leaving the house, etc.) What's helped me the most is an anti-anxiety drug. Paxil works for me, quite well, but sometimes it can take a few tries to find the right medicine for a person. If your girlfriend doesn't already take any anti-depressant or anti-anxiety, it may be worth talking to her doctor about.

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Old 03-02-2011, 10:51 AM   #6
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1
Default hi

i am face same problem....plz help
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Old 03-02-2011, 12:24 PM   #7
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Scio, NY
Posts: 873

I too agree with Lee that we need to have some control over our emotions but its easier said than done. I'm 20 and found out when I was 12. Its still very hard for me to get control some days.
My husband does things just right to make me feel better. DON'T LET HER PUSH YOU AWAY!!! She isn't doing it on purpose I'm sure. I did it to my husband before we were married because I felt he wouldn't want me because I was defective. Its very hard to come to terms with the fact that you're infertile and even harder to realize that your partner is ok with the fact that it might not happen , having kids anyway.

Here's what you do. When she's not in such a lousy mood sit her down and talk to her. Let her know that you're worried about her and you don't want her to push you away. Let her know what you're feeling and how you want to help, but you can't if she's closing you out. Don't directly say that she's grouchy or overly moody, (that would be very bad). When she is being grumpy, do something little that you know will make her smile, whether thats something as silly as making a pizza and lighting candles for a "romantic dinner". Just let her know that there is something for her to be happy about, YOU. When you get her to realize that you are there for her and there are supplements and things that can really help, she'll put forth the effort herself to make things better.

Good luck.
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