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Old 09-17-2011, 07:21 PM   #1
bowlerchick03
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Default Just call me Anxious Ashley (Help?)

First, I've followed this board from the shadows, and I don't want to offend anyone that is TTC. I don't want to be the "typical" I'm scared of being pregnant or we made a mistake once person. However, I need advice or thoughts.
I'm getting married next year. My fiancee and I have worked to abstaine, but sometimes it doesn't happen. We've been strong but it hasn't been easy, and in the past two years we've been intimate 2 times. Both times we were responsible with using a condom with spermicide and he withdrew.
I want to enjoy these times of our life, but I am very anxious. We want to be parents in the next few years, but we'd like to wait and so we've used the above birth control (I can't be on the pill or others because of health issues and I've been checked for PCOS, which I have 2/3 of the factors. I am not diabetic, and I do have monthly cycles.), but I'm still an axious mess for the month or two following about being pregnant. I don't know how to break this, and it is slowly driving me nuts.
For example, about 4 months ago we were intimate, and I'm still anxious about being pregnant. I've had all my periods. I even took a test the first month. It was negative and I got my period that same day.
What are your thoughts! Any suggestions? I just want to get past this before we get married.
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Old 09-17-2011, 08:22 PM   #2
praises1139
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Don't worry, the chance that you're going to get pregnant from the rare occasions that you have sex WITH a condom/spermicide and PCOS is almost 0. When I got off the pill last year, I did take a few pregnancy tests because to me a condom with spermicide didn't seem as reliable. And my best friend had just had a baby, so I had baby on the brain, but we were still waiting a few months to start TTC and I didn't know I had PCOS. I felt so silly when I realized we had probably taken so many precautions for nothing because I wasn't even ovulating.
Since you do have more regular periods, you should track your BBT so you know when you are fertile and you shouldn't have sex.
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Old 09-18-2011, 12:23 AM   #3
Jaydess
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I have this same issue, and in the past I've been intimate pretty frequently with my boyfriend. We took a lot of chances/risks, and weren't using ANY bc, except for him pulling out. (I don't want to offend anyone ttc, either, I'm just not ready for kids just yet.)

To be honest, condoms and/or bcp are 99.9% effective, so you probably have nothing to worry about. Especially if your fiance is also withdrawing. I have baby on the brain a lot too, because my best friend has 5, the first of which was born when we were still in high school. It's a scary thought.

One thing I found that works very well is being intimate without actually having sex. Or the big taboo for women, masturbation. I know a lot of women who own at least one "toy," and most of their own bf's/hubbies enjoy using said toys ON the women. It makes it a bit easier to avoid intercourse without losing the physical intimacy, and it helps greatly in getting rid of the sexual tension that that can bring as well.

Also, congrats on engagement! Good luck to you both, and God Bless!
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Old 10-31-2011, 06:13 PM   #4
bowlerchick03
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Default sigh

First, thanks for your thoughts and suggestions. We are enjoying each other the best we can. I just need to get out there that today has been rough. I've bEen stressing and freaking over what I look like ~i fear that I look pregnant. I'm also stressing over anything that happens to my body right now. I just ended my period on Wed/Thurs and we haven't been having sex since June. Yet I'm thinking about the baby stuff again. Its just ridiculous but I don't know what to go. I started taking a multi-vitamin and I'm hoping that will help. I just don't know how to shake this.
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Old 11-01-2011, 03:27 PM   #5
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Have you talked to your doctor about anxiety?
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Old 11-01-2011, 04:52 PM   #6
bowlerchick03
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I have spoken to my doctor about being anxious, and they say that it has to do with my hormones. I just want relief. I can't seem to find it, and right now I want some security. I'd like to enjoy being intimate with my husband, but I can't because I stress/anxious about being pregnant. When we are intimate we choose to use condoms w/ spermicide and he withdrawls. I'm thinking this is a good thing.
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