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Old 05-24-2010, 01:56 PM   #1
Lizzy83
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Default Sex after baby

Hey, I was just wondering if anyone had issues getting back into the mood after having their LO. I'm going on 6 weeks this week and I just can't really get in the mood. Last night DH surprised me in the middle of the night and I was ready to DTD but it just didn't feel right....TIA
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Old 05-24-2010, 02:05 PM   #2
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It took me a loooooong time to be back in the mood after Owen. I don't think it helped that I had to be on pelvic rest from 19w on. I remember dtd after I was given the go ahead just because I felt bad for dh, not because I wanted to...and that was how it was for a while. I also remember having to use a lot of lube (sorry if tmi). I hope this time will be different, but I don't think it's abnormal to not be in the mood.
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Old 05-24-2010, 02:16 PM   #3
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I actually mentioned it to my doc... totally normal! We dtd after I was cleared at 6wks, but like Tink mentioned, it was terribly uncomfortable (even WITH a ton of lube). My doc said that especially when bf'ing, your estrogen level is really low and that causes the moisture and libido issues... Things improved gradually... the moisture issue wasn't gone though until I stopped nursing completely when the kids were 17months old. (It was better before that and sex definitely became enjoyable before that... but I think the kids were at least 6 months old before I was really enjoying it... still with lots of lube though...) To be honest though... my libido is no where near what it was before having the kids. All a combination of the added responsibility, etc... don't forget that you're probably just a bit sleep deprived still (I'm sleeping, but I can still claim exhaustion!) So... between hormones being out of whack and being exhausted... it's hard to be in the mood!
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Old 05-24-2010, 03:11 PM   #4
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we had planned on not dtd for the first 6wks (even if the dr would have cleared it sooner)-- so it was super easy to not even feel up for it.. and i do know that for the first so often it really was a deed and not a want... (take that back a little, the first time i was more than okay with it-- it the times that followed)
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Old 05-24-2010, 03:35 PM   #5
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I am STILL not in the mood and my youngest is 14 months old. Let me know if you figure it out...
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Old 05-24-2010, 04:09 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carleighstutz View Post
I am STILL not in the mood and my youngest is 14 months old. Let me know if you figure it out...
I'm with Carleigh - 16 month old here. It's a constant issue in our marriage.

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Old 05-24-2010, 04:26 PM   #7
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For me, I don't remember right after anymore.....I know it was uncomfortable the first few times. And I know it took me getting good sleep for a day to even THINK about DtD. My libido is still low though due to BCP, and still being tired since Katelyn doesn't sleep well still. if you are on BCP maybe that is part of the reason mixed with lack of sleep.
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Old 05-26-2010, 11:07 AM   #8
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my child is 9 months old now. i still am never in the mood. we've done it exactly once since she's been born. it's a huge issue in my marriage.
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Old 05-26-2010, 11:20 AM   #9
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It's great to know there are other ladies in the same situation!!

It's tough and I have no idea what to do either. My best friend and I talk about this subject every once in awhile. She feels like even if she isn't in the mood she has to have sex. She feels like we as woman shouldn't tell our husbands no or shouldn't turn them down. I agree but not saying I follow that!! I think the biggest concern is if we don't give them what they want, they will find it elsewhere. I forgot where I read/heard it but men need sex every 72 hours......not happening here!
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Old 05-26-2010, 12:44 PM   #10
Lizzy83
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I'm in the mood, but it just feels weird down there. sorry if TMI. I didn't have a vaginal birth so I'm wondering what the heck is going on.
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